Somebody's grandfather

I was using a online dating service and having tons of fun dating and meeting new people. I went on quite a few good dates and a few that I'd rather forget.

...shared a rum and coke and then we started making out. He was a good kisser for an old guy...

There is one that I will mention. I found out that he lived close to me, only a couple blocks away. He asked if it bothered me that he was older. I asked him if it bothered him that I was younger. We both said no!

He asked me to come over. I told a friend where Iw as going and who with, just in case things went weird. I walked over to his loft, shared a rum and coke and then we started making out. He was a good kisser for an old guy. We ended up making lust, then I hurried out of there as fast as I could.

I ran home laughing, thinking about the fact that I just did someone's grandfather. Not only that, but he was pretty good! He told me he was like wine and got better with age.


Name kept secret
Winnipeg, Manitoba

No more wine.

I threw a New Years Party at my apartment a few years ago. I invite the whole apartment block plus many friends and of course my girlfriend. Party was a blast, everyone had fun. It's about 5 in the morning and everyone that's staying over is situated and it's time for my girlfriend and I to bring in the new year.

I lay her down on my bed. I stand at the foot of the bed and start doing a strip tease for her. I stumble in my drunken state, then fall backwards into my closet, ripping the door right off.

Still playing cool, I shake it off and resume my stripping, even though she's laughing a little. I am finally buck nekkid and I lay down beside her.

Then it starts.

First a gurgle in my throat. Then the room starts spinning. She's laying beside me, we're about a foot apart, face to face.

The bed spins, my head spins, I feel sick.


Before I could even move, I puked. Now, when I say puke, I mean like the scene in Stand By Me when they do the pie eating contest. Projectile-type vomiting.

I hit her right in the face, full force. There was so much puke, there was an outline of her on the wall behind her, only where her head was, there wasn't any puke.

It was bad news. I had drank red wine and white wine, Jim Beam and then had some conversations with my buddy Jack Daniels. Top that off with a few shots of Tequila and I puked right in her face.

We stopped dating shortly after.


Want to know the irony? I used to call her "stank-breath" behind her back. She had some major halitosis.(sp?)

Guess I was the stank-breath that night!


Wruf in Ottawa