I've got two stories to tell

A  fter reading the majority of the stories on the site, I have to come share as well. I am filled with school-boy excitement. I have two stories, the first is only relevant because people have no idea what I was like when I was younger. (The second, you'll see). I would love to tell these stories at coctail parties, but these ninnys will relate a story of taking mom's car to the beach without permission, and then get poo-poos from everyone else. So, I was a bad seed. We went on so many beer runs (walk in-snatch beer-run out-why hassle with that money thing) that we were contemplating keeping a log of who went where and what clerk was working ( so as to avoid the uncomfortable 7-11 experience. You know things are ill when you walk in and the clerk greets you with, "Hey mother fucker").

...Vandalism, fights, sex, and, of course, drugs. I was wrong...

I  worked at a store as a bagger, and while I was stocking the coolers at night I would throw two cases of beer in the dumpster with the trash, only to retrieve them later (this isn't so bad, except I did it 2-4 times a week). Vandalism, fights, sex, and, of course, drugs. I was wrong. Anyway, one night we go to the movies (myself, and two friends). Working the ticket booth is a girl that was a year older than us, Betty (not her real name). After we pay our way in, we mosey on back to the game section of the theater with roughly an hour to kill.

...S1 is likewise a respectable citizen these days, and S2 was beat to death (literally) a couple of years ago...

Well, Betty was epileptic. She was the butt of many jokes at school, due to the inability of anyone/thing (doctors/meds) to keep her seizures in check. So, there we are playing video games (Rampage to be exact), when all of a sudden Betty falls down in the ticket booth and starts siezing. We all ran over being saints, knights in armor and all of that. She was already finishing up with the worst of it, S1 and S2 we're already over the counter counseling. Nobody was around, so we shared our best "I dunno" looks, then out of the blue S2 pops the cash register and jacks the money. We ran out of there and headed down the back streets to another hangout. I didn't have anything to do with the money, and neither did S1. It was a huge scandal though. I am sure that folks in my home town still remember, and would love to see the unsavory bastards that did it hanged. S1 is likewise a respectable citizen these days, and S2 was beat to death (literally) a couple of years ago.

...One night, fairly close to the end of our marriage, Lucif-her decides to blow a gasket on her sister and I as we shared a couple of drinks at the house...

S o story next involves my ex-wife. I would love to tell her this story just to hurt her, but the other person involved would suffer as well. My ex was very good looking and I was the stupid schlub that found himself fortunate to have such a thing. Undeserving and all of that. After six months of marriage my ex started turning into Satan's Sister, and not just to me. To sum this up I caught her cheating. She cried and begged, and I tried to forgive. Wouldn't happen again and what not. I never got over it, and began the experiental sleeping around, but revenge fornication isn't all that. One night, fairly close to the end of our marriage, Lucif-her decides to blow a gasket on her sister and I as we shared a couple of drinks at the house. She then proceeds to go into the bedroom, puke on my side of the bed, then pass out.
So what happened next was at least three years in the making. I decided I wasn't going to clean anything, play ambulance to the toilet, hold any hair etc. I went back out in the living room where her sister was, and after lamenting my ex's evilness, we started kissing (we had been hot for each other, but it remained unspoken).

...here's the double punch dear, when we went to the canyon and "broke" your car in, well it had already been done...

S o this is for you, my love. Your sister and I went out into the garage, pushed the back seats of the Subaru down, and did the deed all over your new car (here's the double punch dear, when we went to the canyon and "broke" your car in, well it had already been done). I must have slept with your sister at least six or ten times, and in ways that you were too boring. The sun had long been up when we went in and passed out on the couch. Yeah, that night. We didn't fall asleep there, we went to sleep there after romping all night. Piss off.

Name kept secret
Location kept secret

Having an affair? Want to?




Tags: crime affair marriage story divorce sister secret stories

Funny money

Now that Christmas is over and New Year's is on it's way I can get this off my chest.

Ten years ago I had some problems getting money together for Christmas presents. Things were tight around my place and the little money I had, I spent it on food and gas. I was thinking that nobody would get gifts from me until I had a great idea.

...I printed out close to $500 that Christmas and went shopping...

Before I had lost my job I had bought a high-end computer and laser printer. I scanned a $10 bill and printed one out just to see. I thought it looked pretty good so I went to the am/pm and bought something. They took it without a second glance.

I printed out close to $500 that Christmas and went shopping at any store where I knew someone. I used to work in retail so I knew quite a few people. They didn't even think I was using funny money, too busy talking to me because we knew each other.

Everyone's gift that year was bought for free. I haven't done that since and won't again but it sure did work at the time.

Name kept secret
Location kept secret

Trading secrets

After being employed for the same corporation for over twenty years I have had enough. Enough working overtime without proper pay, enough being mistreated by superiors as well as enough of not getting promoted when I should have been promoted above those same aforementioned supervisors.

...The place was loud and boisterous which worked in our favor. No one could hear us talk...

A few years ago at Comdex I was working the booth when I was approached by a man that told me he was working for a rival firm. After discussing our products with him, he informed me that he was rather interested in the products we manufactured and would love to get his hands on any technical reports, calculations, analyses and studies that I could obtain. At the time I had no interest in this knowing that it was both illegal as well as unethical. He gave me his card and I filed the idea as well as his card in my Rolodex assuming we’d never speak again.

I revisited his ideas and offer months ago after yet another incident with a technical manager at work. This was the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back. I searched until I found the card buried beneath other cards that I filed.

I called the man. He suggested we get together for dinner at Ben Benson’s. Not a big steak fan but since he offered to pick up the tab I was not going to argue. Arriving a few minutes early I found him already waiting. The place was loud and boisterous which worked in our favor. No one could hear us talk.

...I made a deal to provide him with some of the technical specifications of the products we manufacture...

After talking for just over an hour while enjoying steaks and a few drinks, I made a deal to provide him with some of the technical specifications of the products we manufacture. He would provide me with a decent supplement to my income and I would provide him with what he wanted.

Wrong? Yes.
Worth the money? Yes.
Worth losing my job? Depends on when/if I am caught.

This is a story I cannot tell for obvious reasons. I feel guilt on occasion yet relieved when I am paid. As I move closer to retirement my level of stress decreases as I am to better plan for my future after employment. It was apparent that this corporation was not going to take care of me, so I am going to take care of myself.


Name kept secret
Locations kept secret

Protect yourself when you send your pc in to get fixed!

Hi guys love this site, have read it since the day you started it and finally decided to submit a story of my own. I have many stories that I have thought about submitting and someday I probably will. I'm submitting this story/secret because of a similar story I found on this site.

...I know their secrets and what they look like naked and in most cases they are very hot...

I work at a computer shop and sometimes I get computers from customers to fix. While working on them I also browse through the My Documents folder and subfolders and have found a lot of porn which doesn't much interest me because there is so much of it available but I also have come across some steamy pictures and a few videos too of the owners, who are mostly girls (maybe guys try to fix their own computer more than girls) and on many a guy's pc's I find pictures of ex-girlfriends. I have a portable harddrive that I connect to the pc's and copy the pictures to it.

I don't plan on doing anything nasty with these pictures like posting them to some website but I like keeping them to myself. Sometimes I also meet many of the girls on the pictures in the shop and I always smile within and think to myself while servicing them that I know their secrets and what they look like naked and in most cases they are very hot.

...remove anything that you don't want out in the daylight the next time you have your computer fixed...

While you may have had fun reading this and the similar story I hope you also think to yourself and take some measures to not become one of these people and remove anything that you don't want out in the daylight the next time you have your computer fixed because, seriously, most guys who are in this line of work do this. But not all of them are, shall I say honest for lack of a better word, and post them wherever they like too. That can hurt a lot of people and I don't think that is right to do.

Name kept secret
Location kept secret

Do you own a VW?

You need to buy a alarm if you don't already have one.

I often wondered how to let you know with out incriminating myself. I may have stolen your car. If you were a victim I am really sorry. I have gone on and become a decent person and have had my car stolen too.

...used to steal VWs all the time. At least 50-60 i figure and I lost count...

I am writing this because you need to know how easy it is so you can do something. Public service i guess.

I used to steal VWs all the time. At least 50-60 i figure and I lost count a few times. Not trying to brag but in 35 seconds I was gone.
It was easy too.
Push flathead screwdriver under the doorhandle and in to door. Pop the lock. Thes shadow from doorhandle hides screwdriver hole handy when yer driving later. Starting is no problem thanks to the plastic ignition peice that I carried. I smashed apart an old ignition and took the peice that the wiring harness went on to. I just had to unplug the wiring hardness and clip in on to mine then I turned it with the screwdriver and varoom it starts. Then I brake the steering easy with myfoot. It is so cold that the metal freezes and is easy to bust. I used to just hotwaire but that took longer. Once I got the plastic thing I saved time.

So anyways. I guess you can use this info in case you ever lock your keys in the car and no way to get home. If you own a vw get a alarm because you car is really easy to steal. I am sorry again.


Name kept secret
Location kept secret

My Documents

I work for a on-site computer company that services both commerical and residential clients. I frequently am left in front of a pc for hours on end, installing software, troubleshooting, cleaning virii, you name it. I recently found that a great way to pass the time is to go through people's My Documents folder. Here's a list of some of the tasty things I've found.

...many naked photos of men and women taken with webcams, featuring poses on the same chair I'd be sitting on...

-Many, many naked photos of men and women taken with webcams, featuring poses on the same chair I'd be sitting on to work on their pc's. Sometimes I'll arrive to find the camera pointed at the bed. I always check for photos and videos when I work on a pc that someone has in a bedroom, especially when they have a camera attached!
-Quite a few sexy video clips featuring the pc owners getting down and dirty on the floor in front of the pc, or on the bed.
-Sexy stories but I am not sure who wrote them. Some are steamy!
-More photos and video clips that the pc owners have downloaded. It's funny seeing what turns these people on. Funnier when you have to talk to them after looking at what they download!

...I am working on her computer and I find photos of her doing slutty poses or whatever...

I haven't seen any child porn thankfully. I'd have to report that to the police somehow without letting them know how I found out. All the pix and vids I've seen were adults I figure with a few hot teens in there too.

My all time favorite is when I go to a house and a hot girl opens the door. Then I am working on her computer and I find photos of her doing slutty poses or whatever. Seems like whenever that happens, I spend an extra long time fixing the computer!


Name kept secret
Location kept secret

The guy left his finger behind

We got the news that this family was going to be out of town and they had dope stereo equipment dvd's computers and shit. 8 of us go in the next night through the sliding glass door in the bakyard.

...There was 2 people sleeping in the bed! Seconds later we all panicked and everyone bolted...

We split up when we get inside. I went upstairs and in to a bedroom looking for something small. I found a watch and a walkman so I grabbed them. I went in to another room when I heard someone loudly whispering in the hallway. I went out and saw 3 of the other guys all looking scared. I asked them what's up and they pointed in to another bedroom. There was 2 people sleeping in the bed! Seconds later we all panicked and everyone bolted downstairs not even being quiet anymore.

We ran out the back door and up over the tall chainlink fence. The biggest guy there was one of the last to get over the fence and when he got up and over, he dropped pretty fast. The screaming started when he hit the ground.

It was bad. I saw what was left behind. There was just a shiny white bone there and some stuff hanging down.

The guy left his finger behind. No shit. He had a huge gold ring on and it got hung up on the top of the fence. He screamed as he landed on the other side of the fence. I we turned around when we heard him scream. It was so nasty. The guy was fucked. One of the guys went up and got the finger down.

It was bad. I saw what was left behind. There was just a shiny white bone there and some stuff hanging down. We got back to the car and tied it up tight and drove him to the emergency. He was crying and yelling and we were yelling and screaming the whole way to his hospital.

They couldn't re-attact it. He told people he shot it off by accident. Guess he wanted to sound all hardcore. He didn't want to tell the real story cause he sounds like a dumbass.

Name withheld upon request
Location withheld upon request

Tax returns? ha!

I've been cheatin the IRS for over 10 years now. I run a small business and operate mostly on a cash basis. I haven't paid the proper amount of taxes in years!

Name withheld upon request
Location withheld upon request

Yeah. I gots me a secret for ya

Sooooo........

'Bout 10 years ago, I worked a certain retail store that sold brand name electronic stuff. They had me in a pretty good position, after working there for a while I had some pull.
I called up a couple a homies and told them to meet me out back, where I gave them garbage bags full of shit. We got mad loot and because they were paying me shit wages and I was working me ass off I figured hey, they owe me this much!


J.R
Dallas, Texas

A secret.

I was around 16 when I stole a car and took it to my school's soccer field. It was on a weekend during the summer time around 3 in the morning. I parked the car facing one of the portables then wedged an umbrella aginst the gas pedal and the seat. The engine reved way up and I slammed the shifter into Drive then jumped back as the car took off. It must have been going over a hndred when it hit the portable and exploded into a huge fireball. I took off running, scared that I'd get caught.
I'm sorry now for being such a stuopid idiot then.


Name withheld upon request
Location withheld upon request

We keyed his car

We keyed his fucking car.
We told him how many times to not park our spot?
Hopefully that will teach him


Next time it's sugar in the gastank.

Name withheld upon request
Location withheld upon request

I smashed someone's car.

I was backing out of a driveway around 9:30pm. It was dark and raining. I thought that I had checked for cars but, when I reversed out I smashed into someone's car. The door got all dented in and the window was smashed. I didn't stick around to knock on the door, or leave a note. I paniced and took off.

My apologies to whoever owned that car. Hopefully you had insurance

D.K
Somewhere in the US

I ratted you out

Yeah. That's right. I dropped a dime on your ass. I called the cops and told them what you did. Did you really think I was going to let you get away with that just because we are family? Bullshit. What you did was horrible and I can never forgive you for the pain you've caused us all. Now you and you friggin ego can answer to the law. It's out of my hands now. You'll pay your price.

I hope you rot in jail.

Regards

Name withheld upon request
Location withheld upon request

To the guy I punched out

To the guy I punched out near the MGM Grand 2 years ago

I am so sorry I took out my anger on you. You were in the wrong place at the wrong time. I had a spell of bad luck but it is no excuse for doing what I did to you.
I am a different person now, those were dark days for me.
I am sorry. I hope that you recoved fully.

Sincerely
the asshole who took his frustrations out on you