He can't last forever...

My husband is an insecure, jealous, passive-aggressive control freak with strong OCPD tendencies. He oversees and approves of anything and everything in our home, our lives and our social contacts. If I have a differing opinion of something (such as his placement of a vase of flowers, or the way he has hung a picture on the wall, or his choice of flowering plants for our patio pots), he will become silently infuriated, and be sullen. If I downright disagree with him ("...no, I don't care for those flowers...") he can become openly hostile, petty, vindictive, and will meanly mock and mimic me.

I am made to feel like I'm abandoning my 11 year old daughter if I make arrangements to meet a friend for dinner or see a movie - so most of the time I don't / won't go. When I have gone out in the past, he'll "go after" our daughter, rattling demands to her in a monotone voice, in rapid-fire sequence - demanding she clean her already too-clean-to-be-true bedroom, criticizing her school work, questioning her clothing choices, etc., so that a night out with the girls is just plain not done. Our daughter knows her dad isn't "normal", but she loves him, and she generally tries to keep her disitance from him . If he knows I've tried to make plans, he will make every attempt to sabotage them in a seemingly innocent way ("...I ate something funny at lunch... now I don't feel well... not up to caring for our daughter tonight...." or he will simply not have time to call me and "unexpectedly" work late).

He doesn't care for my few friends, and he has been very successful in keeping me isolated. Moving state-to-state with his company via his promotions hasn't helped, either. Weekends are always spent TOGETHER - if I were to say to him "hey, I'm running out to the mall for an hour or so..." will send him off on a cleaning and organizing frenzy. Either that, or he'll say he needs something, and wants to go, too. He hid all of his weird behaviors very, very well before we were married. He was insistent that we marry a few months after we met, (now I know why...) and I was swept away by him - he gave me thoughtful gifts, lavished me with attention - I was so impressionable, and I swallowed it hook, line and sinker. He gets uncomfortable when men glance at me, and lets me know it ( ...lets get out of here...).

Counseling? Forget it... he has no problems... I'M THE PROBLEM, according to him, because I'm "so particular"!



Leave? I'm disabled, and I need my many medications, which cost over $1,000.00 per month. BTW, his mother is the most domineering, manipulative, controlling, vindictive woman I have ever seen. I met her right after we were married... she offered to slap me across the face because I had a difference of opinion with her!

My only saving grace may be the fact that he is about 75 pounds overweight, his diet consists primarily of red meat, french fries / potato and Diet Coke / whole milk. And a whole lot of cakes, cookies, candy, snacks & crap. Seriously, that is his preferred diet: red meat, potato, sugar & salt. He can't last forever...