My mother grosses me out

I can't stand my mother. She is a fat, gross, miserable woman. She wants to have this close relationship with me and can't understand why we aren't close. I would never tell her the real truth but I am so embarrassed by her. She always wants to take me to dinner or do something with me and all I can think about is how gross she will look sitting across from me at a restaurant slopping down her food. She farts in public as she walks and thinks it's funny. She is lazy and would rather live out her life on the couch. She only talks about herself and her aches and pains. She is never interested in anyone (me) or anything they have to say. She is a selfish, overindulgent bitch that wants everything handed to her so life can be easy. She doesn't want to work for anything but wants to be recognized for everything. I hate her and she makes me sick and I always feel so guilty about it.