That guy from the movie "Office Space" has nothing on me!

This is something that has been bothering me for awhile; after years of working customer service jobs where I had to take shit from just about everyone I finally have a job I don't mind going to. The downside; it's a boring cubicle job and I don't actually have enough work that takes up a whole 8 hour day. So I sit and surf the internet all day, make phone calls to friends, balance my checkbook and listen to music. Oh sure, I LOOK busy with my desk full of paperwork and me always typing but if anyone bothered to look they would see that the reports on my desk are actually old completed ones and if they could see my monitor they would see me typing this very sentence and not anything to do with the monthly finance report.
I'm starting to worry and actually feel guilty; worried because I don't know how long I can keep doing this before someone gets wise and puts the spotlight on me, guilty because everytime I feel I should leave for something more challenging; they either give me a raise or send me somewhere nice for training, I just got back from a week long training course in San Diego. They put me up in a nice hotel and when I got back, had a fat paycheck waiting on me because they reimburse me for all meals paid for while training. I don't really necessarily even NEED the training, they just have to send people for whatever training is out there to justify the quarterly
budget. the employees who smoke are allowed to take smoke breaks, I don't smoke so I take "air" breaks.

If I'm not at my desk, I'm usually walking around the office or outside getting some air; the employees who smoke are allowed to take smoke breaks, I don't smoke so I take "air" breaks. One time during the holiday season, I happen to be one of the only people in my office at "work". Everyone else had left on vacation. Around lunch time I left and in addition to having lunch, also took in a movie. I forwarded my office phone to my cell in case anyone called....no one did. I got back to the office within half an hour of quitting time.

Another time, I almost got caught when around lunchtime I went to a massage parlor and got a rubdown complete with "happy ending". I was gone for a good two hours and nobody even noticed, in fact, I remember being worried when I came back to find an email from the boss saying that there would be a staff meeting after lunch, which
I missed. I was trying to think up a lie about where I was when a coworker asked me where the meeting was going to be held?

Me: "What do you mean? Didn't we already have it?"
Him: "What? No. Didnt you get the email? It was cancelled because someone already booked the conference room."

Whew! I checked my email again and sure enough, since I had mine set to seperate the emails with attachments from the ones without, I didn't read the latest one that stated the meeting was cancelled (it had an attachment)
There were some days where I would just come in, hang a jacket up and cut the computer on to make it look like I stepped out for a minute and
just go home and back to sleep.

The worse I ever did though was when I first learned how to do the phone forwarding trick I mentioned earlier. I don't live that far from where I work and when the boss was away for trips or whatever,I would just go home. I REALLY got bad when I learned I could also forward my work email to my regular email accounts! There were some
days where I would just come in, hang a jacket up and cut the computer on to make it look like I stepped out for a minute and just go home and back to sleep.
I quit doing that because I was just as bored at home as I was at the office. I guess it's more fun to me to do nothing at work.

It's really gonna be bad now, my boss feels that in our line of work that we should have access to broadcast news so he had the techies install winnTV on some of our computers; if you don't know, winnTV allows your computer monitor to function as a TV. Great.
Just what I need, even MORE of a reason to dick around.

This can't go on. On one hand; I have a great well paying job that I get to pretty much anything I want at, on the other, I am in a job that allows me to indulge my slackerdom which may come back to bite me in the future; ie, I'm not learning anything here that I could take with me. I already know how to sleep and watch tv.

Oh well, gotta go, Maury's on and this window is blocking the screen.

Dirtybadman in Cali



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