Disturbing Fantasies

I'm a pretty clean person in my everyday life, so perhaps that is why I have such a strange, disturbing aspect to my sexual fantasies.

...I know they're not "normal" in the sense of what I see on TV. I can't talk about them to anyone, because I feel like I would be labeled a freak...


First of all, I'm an atypical 40 year old virgin. Not because I've never found anyone willing to help, but because what I find arousing is not the typical sex story. I also have a wonderful imagination and don't require pictures or props (except some 40W motor oil) to get me off.

Still, my fantasies bother me, because I know they're not "normal" in the sense of what I see on TV. I can't talk about them to anyone, because I feel like I would be labeled a freak.

One of my favorites is where I imagine myself living as a hermit caveman, in a warm cave. I am dressed in rags, and unbelievably filthy from months of not bathing. My hair is especially long and caked with filth, and when I shit or piss I do it on myself. Thinking about my "typical hermit/caveman day" gets me extremely horny. As the hermit, I wake up and climb out of my bed/pit which is filled with mud and animal manure I carried back to the cave from some far away farm. Then, I roll in the ashes of last night's fire and leave the cave. I go out stalking in the woods during the day, like a sasquatch, rolling in anything dirty/filthy I find, especially animal dung. When night falls, I go back to the cave and start the fire and dance around it in a primal way until I am wet with sweat and exhaustion.

...In order to not disturb the bats, I crawl through it on my belly until I am completely covered...


THen, I fall asleep back into my mud/flith pit. Sometimes, I imagine I have found a secret back to the cave, and when I go exploring, I find it is a cave with bats, where the guano is several inches thick. In order to not disturb the bats, I crawl through it on my belly until I am completely covered. Sometimes, in the days, I would also just lie in the sun, letting the filth and stink bake into me, occasionally finding some fresh mud or shit to roll in.

Another of my favorites is where I am living in the middle ages on a sheep farm as a farmer who has not bathed in years. I am very filthy from rolling in mud and animal manure and wear only a robe or tunic which is practically falling off from age. In this fantasy I myself in their dung. At some point I get hired by nobility to be the stable-boy, doing every filthy job required in those times.

...they take me to the city sewer, where I wallow for days, thoroughly enjoying myself...


My noble boss takes me along to a big city one day, and when the hosts see what a mess I am and where the should put me, they take me to the city sewer, where I wallow for days, thoroughly enjoying myself and all the details therein. When my noble boss comes to get me, I don't want to leave and they have to send in someone to drag me out.

Outside of the fantasies, I have only gone as far as covering myself in mud or mud substitutes, because I know about the disease aspect of manure and do not wish to get sick. Plus, the opportunity never arose to follow my fantasy. But, oh, how it gets me off to think of it.

One day, in real life, I was at a beach house with my father and some friends. There was a swamp nearby with the smelliest, thickest mud I'd ever seen. When my father and friends went off for a day of shopping, I stayed behind and took a huge bowl of mud inside to the bathroom. I completely covered myself in it and was very happy. Then, I turned on the shower tap to clean off in preparation for my father's return. Nothing! No water.

...I hope to find a wonderful place to go camping, and wallow in mud and be generally filthy for as long as I can without raising suspicion...


Hastily, I grabbed towels to clean off what I could, and ran around the house naked and half-muddy. No water out of any of the taps. Then it occurred to me: the ocean. Gathering up my courage, I sprinted for the water, naked, off the back porch. I didn't have my glasses on, but I don't think there was anyone around. I jumped into the water (which was extremely cold) and cleaned off best I could. Then, back to the house to remove all traces of the mud on the floors. It was about this time that the water started working again. I made it with towels in the washer and everything clean jut minutes before everyone made it back. To this day there is some mud inbetween two parts of the panelling in that bathroom because I backed into it and couldn't get a rag in enough to clean it out.

Someday, I hope to find a wonderful place to go camping, and wallow in mud and be generally filthy for as long as I can without raising suspicion. I dream of that day! Until then, I am very content with my fantasies.

Thanks for letting me tell this story...

Name withheld,
Oregon



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1 comments:

Anonymous said...

Your not alone I have the same fetish or very close to the same I would love to get in contact with you I think we have a lot in comone