That last post jogged my memory

The last story that was posted made me remember something that I've ever told anyone.

I tried to kill myself at least 4 different times. Once by taking every single pill in the medicine cabinet. It obviously wasn't enough. I then tried to slit my wrist, but I didn't have enough conviction to follow through. The next time I was a little more dedicated and cut into the big veins on both sides of my inner elbow, while sitting in the tub. It kept clotting. I ended up getting cold and frustrated and gave up. My final attempt was to drive my truck into a big metal power box. I chickened out at the last second and hit a brick wall instead.

Apparently I didn't want to kill myself that badly. I just needed a hug or something.

My life is good now. Just sitting here thinking about the idea that I might have killed myself back then, has made tears come out of my eyes. I'm so glad I am alive.



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