Wanting what can never be

My best friend just got married suddenly to a girl he met while overseas. I am happily with someone and everything but the sex is great. In my head i keep wishing him pain and suffering and a failed marriage. Before we were in a reletionship that ended because he had the need to go persue his career, and that meant going away. We meant to stay together but we drifted. Though I will always have a place in my heart for him.I do love my fiance deeply. But I catch myself fantasising about this man, he was just so perfect. My fiance is great but he is just so boring in the bedroom If he were here right in front of me I would jump his bones. Funny thing is I would never be unfaithful to him, except with this man, this now married man. Am i a bad person, is this wrong. Help me.

Name kept secret
Location kept secret


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