My secret

I tried to kill myself a few times in the last year. My parents don't even know. The first time i took a bunch of my dads back pain pills and went in got ito my bed. I wanted to fall alseelp and not wake up. I did wake up in the morning and had a bad headache and was sick. a month later I slit my wrist a couple times. hurt too much to go deep so that didn't work. I think next time I will try hanging myslf. Why can't my parents just talk to me?




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20 comments:

Anonymous said...

your parents might be trying to ignore it, hoping it will go away. you'll have to say something for them to see that your in trouble. don't waste you're life trying to get your parents to notice you.

Anonymous said...

dont be giving up on life like that. you sound so young and you have so much shit that you havent experienced yet.

go find some help. talk to your friends. go out.

Anonymous said...

you dont want to do that, why dont u just talk to them, i'm saying this because i just went to the funeral of a friend who killed herself yesterday

Anonymous said...

Get yourself some help, NOW. I bet your parents care more than you think. Don't forget, parents can be just as stupid as anyone else, so maybe you just have to talk to them first and tell them what's up.

What about an aunt or uncle or grandparent? Or, maybe a friend's parents? Someone at church (if you do that sort of thing). Someone who you think you can be open with.

You obviously DON'T want to die. If you did, you'd be gone by now, no matter how much it hurt. It's tough to live, sure. But it's all in what you make of it. Put your efforts into helping yourself.

Sounds trite, sure, but it's true. You have to want to be helped and make the effort.

Anonymous said...

Get yourself some help, NOW. I bet your parents care more than you think. Don't forget, parents can be just as stupid as anyone else, so maybe you just have to talk to them first and tell them what's up.

What about an aunt or uncle or grandparent? Or, maybe a friend's parents? Someone at church (if you do that sort of thing). Someone who you think you can be open with.

You obviously DON'T want to die. If you did, you'd be gone by now, no matter how much it hurt. It's tough to live, sure. But it's all in what you make of it. Put your efforts into helping yourself.

Sounds trite, sure, but it's true. You have to want to be helped and make the effort.

Matt R said...

Hey man, Been there done that. Tried twice myself during high school. I swollowed like 100 asprin (just so you know, overdose on pain medication is a horrible way to die, kidneys fail and shit) and had to have my stomache pumped. Also tried to slit my wrists (no one realizes going verticle is the way to kill yourself) but cut horizontal and just bled alot, had to get some stiches. Anyway, it all gets better man, I don't know how old you are, but I'm 21 going on 22 in a month. I'm guessing your in High School (no offense) and your having a bunch of shit happen at once. I SWEAR to you man, this killing yourself shit won't solve any of it and you need to realize that. It's only a cop out, just stand strong and face your fears and problems head-on, get them over with, and get on with your life. It gets better, I promise you that. You'll find some direction in your life and look back at these times and laugh! Write back if you see this...

Anonymous said...

don't do it...my girlfriends cousin killed herself last year and she was devistated...only bad things come out of killing yourself...there are people out there who care...sometimes you just have to take the initiative...i hope you feel better about yourself

Anonymous said...

Don't kill yourself! No matter how bad things are, they will get better in the future. Believe me, I thought about suicide before and I tried cutting myself, but I'm so glad I didn't go through with it, because now my life is great and everything that I was unhappy about has changed. So you gotta just stay strong and face the music. If you can't talk to your parents, try talking to a counsellor, friend, friend's parents, teacher, etc. I'm sure people will be more than happy to help you. But just don't kill yourself!! I get so upset when i hear other people wanting to end their lives. You've got so much to live for!! Just pray for help... believe things will get better.... just don't make any choices you'll regret!!!

Anonymous said...

Just use a 12ga to the head,, tired of you damn crybabies...boo hooo my pussy hurts to!

Anonymous said...

kill ur self, u sound like a loser

Anonymous said...

1800-suicide there are people who care. Just not around here.

Anonymous said...

you need to talk to somebody. I've been there before, actually just a couple of months ago. Suicide is a permanent end to temporary problems. There are support systems out there that are anonymous and free to use. You said that you want your parents to talk to you. The fact is that your parents can't talk to you if you are dead

Anonymous said...

I can't imagine that some of you people could even live with yourself after writing comments like that. Just because you don't have those thoughts doesn't mean you aren't able to extend some sympathy. Next time think before you post.

I can understand your feelings; I'm in high school now and life can seem pretty bad. But suicide will never fix everything, it'll just stop all the good things in life before they happen. Yeah, there'll be some bad stuff along the way, but tough it out, get some help from the people around you, and it'll be alright.

Good Luck

Anonymous said...

please don't kill yourself!!
it only hurts everyone around you...my best friend just had someone very close to him commit suicide...its not the way to handle stuff...Even if you feel like your parents don't care, there are plenty of other people that do!!!

Anonymous said...

try talking to them instead of waiting for them to talk to you.

mike said...

I was sitting in the desert with a
9mm auto stuck to the side of my head with the hammer cocked 3 years
ago. I was living in Vegas with plenty of friends and family around
and no shortage of people to talk to. It struck me as insanely funny that all I could thing about was wanting to pull the trigger but
when it came right down to it I
could only imagine the poor people
who would have to clean up the mess
and then what my ex would have to tell my kids. I have found out since that day that my feelings of
hopelessness are caused by the fact that I have too many seratonin
receptors and my body cannot make up the difference so I take an SSRI
antidepessant and the difference is
literally night and day. you don't
want to end it all because of an easily remedied medical problem do
you? Don't you think you could at
least summon up the guts it took to
cut yourself to ask if you might have this problem? I guarantee you
that as long as one person wants you around life is worth living.

Anonymous said...

i've been there too...stick it out it gets better...everything won't always be perfect some days will be worse than others but if you ride it out and don't jump off the edge it gets better.

Anonymous said...

I did the same wen i was yong instead of picking and eating ur scabs chew on a pencil insted and put bandaids on ur pikes sxabs

Anonymous said...

this blog was about someone going through a rough enough time to consider ending their life, not scab eating you fuckwit.... as for the suicidal guy, like everyone says, get help, suicide is a long term solution to a short term problem, in short it is death without resolution, and do you really want to leave the earth with unresolved issues, and do you honestly think you have lived enough to comprehend all that there is out there to experience? you have years ahead of you, those years are there for a reason, you are here for a reason, why not spend some time finding out what that reason is? A life is a terribly precious thing to waste..

The Stories You Cannot Tell said...

Thousands of people think about killing themselves, you are not alone. The three of us here have been down that road as well.

You just have to be strong and stay alive. You may not think so now, but very happy days lie ahead for you, if you can just get past this rough patch you'll see.

It could always be much worse my friend. Remember that when you think things couldn't get any worse.

Keep your head up!



Cin.